Play to Your Strengths

So often in life we seem to focus on our faults, failings and shortcomings with the belief that by focusing on these we can learn how to change them, acquire new skills to overcome them, and become more well-rounded, successful or an even better person!

The truth is that, whilst increased awareness may well be useful, the more we focus on our weaknesses the longer our strengths and talents go unnoticed and unused. We are much more likely to be successful and happy when we play to our unique strengths and talents and, instead of spending time and energy trying to be like everyone else, focus on developing, refining and applying those skills and talents we are naturally suited to.

Just as you wouldn’t expect a talented artist to develop the same skill set as a brain surgeon, nor the brain surgeon to become the next Picasso, why would you put pressure on yourself to be brilliant at everything at the expense of your own natural talents.

When we begin to appreciate our personal strengths we can begin to appreciate ourselves more and recognise that we we don’t need to become a better person……we are already enough. We are then free to choose which talents and skills to practice, develop and refine, without our sense of self worth being threatened.

Unfortunately too few people are aware of what their true strengths are. If you'd like to understand more about your own personal strengths have a go at the following exercises or take a look at the book Now, Discover your Strengths by Buckingham & Clifton

Exercise 1: Create a Personal Inventory of your personal skills and assets. Your assets are those things that represent your strengths and offer value to your business, your employer, your colleagues or your customers. Either on your own or with a friend list your strengths under each of the following headings; Experience, Knowledge, Skills, Qualities, Achievements, Reputation. Notice any specific strengths that you would like to refine, practice or use more often and seek out opportunities to do this.

Exercise 2: Ask 7 people who know you (friends, family, colleagues, customers etc) to tell you what they see as your Unique Skills and Abilities. And if you're not very keen on this idea initially just imagine how good you'll feel once you've received all their positive feedback! ;-)

And remember "When love and skill come together expect a masterpiece" John Ruskin

Thanks for reading
Til next time
Have fun!

Denise x

Stuff!

First there was Christmas, then came the Sales and now the shops are full of new things we can buy for Valentine's Day, Easter and even Summer! Forget about the UK being a nation of shopkeepers, it seems we've become a nation of shoppers!

Now I don't mean to sound like a kill joy, and I do enjoy my home comforts, but do we really need all this stuff that advertisers and even our friends think we should have? And what are we doing with all the old stuff that we bought last year, last month, last week?!

You only have to glance at the news headlines these days to realise that shopping doesn't increase our levels of happiness. And in his book Affluenza, Oliver James shows how the surge in material affluence can actually produce the opposite of happiness. Infact, of the two items I did buy recently, one fell apart and the other has broken down........so, far from making me happier, they actually caused me more frustration :-o

And where does all this stuff come from anyway? And how come it's so cheap? Jamie Oliver and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall have been showing us recently the true cost of cheap chicken. What about all the other things we spend so much time accumulating? Would you believe that 800,000 tonnes of clothes were thrown away in the UK in 2006; a people carrier weighs about a tonne. And workers in Bangladesh are paid just 5p an hour to produce clothes for a number of our high street stores!

I recently came across this brilliant little film at http://www.storyofstuff.com/ It's well worth a look if you care about any of this and are willing to challenge a few old habits ;-)

For my part, I've taken a couple of small steps. The first is to start wearing some perfectly good, old clothes that I've had in my wardrobe for a while instead of buying new ones. The second is to buy less food so there's less to dispose of....and of course, less temptation to over eat ;-) And already I've received several complements on my old clothes so maybe new isn't always best!

Anyway, I'll get off my soap box now ;-)

Just one final word.........Whatever we do, and whatever we buy, it's well worth remembering that 'we are not what we have' ;-) And when we let go of identifying with things and instead get a stronger sense of our true identity we get to live happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives ;-)

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks for reading
Til next time
Have fun!

Denise x

Are you busy Doing or Being?

We're now into the third week of 2008 and many people are already talking about how they've not stuck to their resolutions, not achieved as much as they wanted and are feeling the pressure...........pressure that in many cases, they have created themselves ;-)

I read a great quote recently by Albert Einstein that reads "the faster you go the shorter you are" and as I'm not particularly tall myself I took note ;-)

Whilst it's great to have dreams and desires, isn't it also important to create a balance between doing and being? To live Happy, Healthy and Fulfilling lives, and be successful in our own right, it makes sense to strike a balance between Yin and Yang, Intellect and Intuition, Left and Right brain thinking and Activity and Rest.

Anyone who exercises regularly, whether at the gym, doing yoga or through some other form, knows that healthy exercise involves alternate flexing and relaxing of the muscles. Yet in most other aspects of our lives we somehow feel guilty or lazy if we're not busy 'doing' and have almost forgotten how to relax. We get into the habit of keeping constantly busy and run the risk of doing things that are not aligned with who we really are and that lead to stress and tension.

What if we were to use the concept of flexing and relaxing with our mental and emotional 'muscles' too?

By taking some time each day to simply 'be' we can clear our minds, get a greater sense of self, and make decisions and choices that are more aligned with who we are and what matters most. And when we stay true to ourselves we discover a greater sense of personal power, enjoy what we do and....when we enjoy it we do it better so we get to be successful and fulfilled ;-)

So a simple tip for today is..... each day take a little time to let go, relax and just Be ;-)

And if you haven't quite kept to your plans and resolutions remember............ "We can always begin again" Jack Kornfield

Thanks for reading

Til next time

Have fun!

Denise x

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2008 and welcome to my new blog ;-)

This is my first foray into the world of blogging so please bear with me while I get to grips with it all!

So why blog? And why now? Well this is my way of seeing through one of my New Year's intentions, and fulfilling one of my personal commitments......that is, to help more people become Happier, Healthier and more Fulfilled by sharing ideas, thoughts, insights and resources that can be used to make a really positive difference in peoples' lives ;-)

At this time of year many of us are consciously thinking about what we want to achieve, and how we want to live over the coming months. Some of us may be making great progress and some might already have gone adrift. Infact, the newspapers and TV are currently full of reports about how many people give up on their resolutions, and are offering tips for staying on track.

So how are you getting on? And what helpful tips do you have for the rest of us?

This blog is evidence that I've achieved one of my resolutions..........the next part is keeping it going ;-) That's where a little help, and maybe the occasional reminder or prompt, might be useful. Infact, research does show that group support can make all the difference. There's something really nice about being encouraged and spurred on by your friends, and something very motivating about knowing you've made a commitment and that other people are waiting to hear how you're doing ;-) That's what many clients find particularly useful when working with a coach.....it's easy to make excuses to ourselves, it's less easy making excuses to someone else, especially when you've asked them to help you stay on track!

So one simple tip for now....... make a commitment to yourself, write it down together with the reasons why you want it, and share it with someone who will encourage and support you.

Thanks for reading
Til next time
Have fun

Denise x