Inside Story

I've been hearing recently about storytelling and in particular how telling stories can be a really helpful way of marketing. And certainly there have been a number of successful advertising campaigns recently telling either the Marks and Spencer story, the Sainsbury's story or the Virgin Atlantic story, all of which were tales of a long and successful heritage.

Yet when it comes to our personal lives, how many of us have been living with old stories that have not been serving us? What have you been telling yourself that is holding you back, stopping you from using your natural skills and talents and preventing you from being ALL that you truly are? Is it the story of "I'm not good enough", "I don't deserve it", "I'll look stupid", "I can't do that" or "I'm not attractive or intelligent enough?"

There really seems to be no limit to our creativity when it comes to devising unhelpful stories to live by. And when you're telling yourself those types of story, what is it that you're not saying? Could it be "I'm already enough", "I have lots of skills and talents", "I have many wonderful qualities", "I'm gorgeous" or "I can be happy now"?

So how do you go about recognising the unhelpful stories? How would you be different without them? And what can you do to change them?

Tips for recognising your stories

With so many thoughts running through our minds every day it's not always easy to keep track of them, let alone change them. What you can do, however, is pay more attention to your feelings. These are a pretty good indicator of whether you're telling yourself helpful or unhelpful stories. If you're feeling bad the likelihood is you're telling yourself something unhelpful and if you're feeling good then the opposite is probably true. Next time you find yourself experiencing undesirable emotions consider the following;

1 Feeling anxious or worried. Stop. What were you telling yourself about the future?

2 Feeling sad or guilty. Stop. What were you telling yourself about the past?

3 Feeling angry or frustrated. Stop. What were you telling yourself about other people?

4 Feeling down or depressed. Stop. What were you telling yourself about you or how you compare?

Change the Story

Changing the story can take practice, and as with many things, the more we practice, the easier it becomes. One technique that can help is to simply create a different story. How do I do that you might ask? Well given that you already have the ability to create stories, how about creating an alternative narrative by starting with the question "What else could be true?" or "How would someone else think about this?" Remember, your thoughts are only ever interpretations of reality. There are other ways of thinking and you can choose to think differently. Be willing to experiment, create a new story that not only fits for you but serves you better and changes how you feel.

It will change how you are being in the world.

And remember, "The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question" Stephen Jay Gould

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Are you striking the right balance?

An important element of a happy and healthy life is keeping a healthy balance.

Easier said than done, you might think. And what constitutes a good balance anyway? Well it's likely to be different for each of us depending upon our individual needs, values and circumstances.

What's important though, is finding the right balance for you. When we don’t have balance in our lives it can lead to conflict, stress, underperformance and even illness. When we do strike the right balance however, we get to experience greater harmony and wellbeing, we feel more energised, we're able to participate more fully and really enjoy the activities we choose to engage in.

The keys to keeping your life in balance are firstly, knowing when you've lost it and secondly, taking steps to regain it. Try this simple exercise to evaluate your own level of balance.

For each pair of statements allocate a score of 10 between the two. For example, if you are feeling particularly fit and healthy you might allocate 9 points to Fit and Healthy, 1 point to Unfit. Of course, there may well be other factors affecting balance in your life so feel free to add those too.

____ Fit and Healthy
____ Unfit

____ Relaxed
____ Stressed

____ Regular Exercise
____ No exercise

____ Healthy diet
____ Junk food

____ Active social life
____ No time for socialising

____ Support network
____ No support network

____ Balanced home life
____ Unbalanced home life

____ Personal needs met
____ Personal needs not met

____ Managing time well
____ Not managing time well

____ Plans for future
____ No plans for future

____ Resources meet demands
____ Demands exceed resources

____ Satisfied with work
____ Dissatisifed with work

____ Other
____ Other

So how did you do? If you seem to have a good balance then Congratulations. If not, then you might want to consider the following questions.

What strikes you most?
What patterns do you notice?
What actions do you need to take?
What are you willing to change?

And remember; "Next to love, balance is the most important thing" JohnWooden
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Busy doing what? ;-)

How often do you find yourself wishing you had more time? Or maybe you have difficulty concentrating because there's just so much to do? Or perhaps you even feel that life has become one big rush?

Well it could be that you're addicted to Urgency ;-)

In these modern times, where the pace of life seems to have got faster and faster, many people have simply forgotten how to slow down and are prioritising the Urgent over more Important aspects of their lives.

Have a go at this simple quiz to find out whether you're addicted. Count the number of statements that apply to you. If many of the statements apply then just pause for a moment. Identify one or two simple changes that you will make right now to help you slow down, create more time and focus on what matters most.

Good Luck!

1 Generally have more tasks than you can do in the time available
2 Have trouble concentrating because you have too much to do
3 Eat, walk, talk rapidly
4 Muscles often ache or feel tense
5 Finish others’ sentences for them
6 Attempt to do more than one thing at a time
7 Feel guilty about wasting time
8 Complain of feeling tired much of the time
9 Frequently look at your watch, tap your feet or use other nervous gestures
10 Wish you had more time
11 Always in a hurry but often arrive late
12 Arriving early for events make you feel uncomfortable
13 Never seem to have any 'me' time
14 Pride yourself on getting things done quickly
15 Sometimes sacrifice quality for getting things done faster
16 Start projects that you never seem to finish
17 Sometimes feel overwhelmed and find it difficult to concentrate on any one task
18 Feel hyper or anxious
19 Have no time to stop and listen
20 Always thinking about what next rather than this moment

How did you get on?
It might just be worth rembering this quote...."What Is this life if full of care; we have no time to stand and stare" W H Davies

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