Anything is Possible

Last week I happened to be watching Deal or No Deal on the TV. Yes, I know what you're thinking...but that aside, it was an amazing example of the power of the mind and how anything is possible.

The player selected in that episode was Peter, a man in his 30's recovering from a serious motorbike accident in which he'd suffered major spinal injuries. After spending several months in hospital he'd finally been told by the specialists that he'd never walk again.

Yet this same man, only a few months later, was now taking his first walk unaided in public. And when he later went on to win £5000 said that his walk was worth much, much more.

So how come, after such a prognosis from the specialists, he was able to do this? Well in his words, "When I heard them say that [I wouldn't walk again], I just didn't believe them..... I guess when everyone tells you there's nothing they can do, you just dig deep"

Here was a man who really did choose to believe that something more was possible. And as the credits began to roll, his parting words to anyone else who might be struggling were "Don't give up.....Get up"

Too often, we can be unaware of our beliefs and allow limited thinking to influence our lives. Yet when we choose to pay attention, that's when we have the opportunity to reshape our thinking and create all kinds of new possibilities.

Decide today, to believe in what you really want ;-)

And remember "Live out of your imagination, not your history" Stephen Covey

Busy?

"Hi, how are you? Are you busy?"

Is it just me, or do people greet you this way too? Now I know they have my best interests in mind but how come 'being busy' is so important? And what if I haven't been busy? Does that reflect badly on me when they are clearly so busy themselves ;-)

Yes, there are certainly days when I'm very busy.......doing what though, who knows! And anyone out there who works from home, or isn't currently working full time, will understand how easy it is to fill the day ;-) There are other days though when I've been much less busy, when I've been focused and productive, achieved the most important things in a short space of time and found time to go for a walk in the sunshine or meet a friend for lunch.

"There is more to life than increasing it's speed" Ghandi

So how come we're so interested in how busy people are? I don't know many people who have a conscious life goal to 'be busy'. And yet, with so much focus on being busy, it might suggest that many of us have a subconscious goal to be busy and equate being busy with being successful, fulfilled or even worthwhile.

In his recent book 'The 4 Hour Work Week', Timothy Ferris turns a few traditional ideas on their head and explores how we can live the life of our dreams instead of our rules. And a couple of questions in the book that I really like are these;

1) "If this is the only thing I accomplish today, will I be satisfied with my day?"

2) "Am I being productive or just active?"

So I don't know about you but my intention is to focus on what's most important, and instead of feeling lazy for not being busy, feel good about making time for the people and things that matter most. Let's see how I get on ;-)

And remember "Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty four brand-new hours to live" Thich Nhat Hanh

How will you use yours?
Dx

Yes or No?

Do you ever agree to do something and then wish you hadn't? Or feel that other people are taking advantage of your kind nature? Do you run out of time because you've committed to too many things? Or do you resist asking for help and take on too much?

Maybe you're saying Yes, when you really mean No? Or saying No Thanks when you really mean Yes Please?

If so, then it could be worth reviewing your personal boundaries.

Personal Boundaries
One of the most important lessons I've learned in life is to establish healthy personal boundaries. Just as we are able to recognise different countries in an atlas by their borders, our physical, emotional and mental boundaries define who we are, and who we are not. They determine what we are willing to do and what we are not willing to do. They help us clarify our sense of self, take control of our lives and create healthy relationships.

Unfortunately, many of us have under developed boundaries and can too often find ourselves putting other peoples' needs above our own, taking too much responsibility for others, afraid to express our own needs and wants or withdrawing and shutting people out. And when we allow this to continue we can end up feeling exhausted or resentful.

Developing Healthy Boundaries
There are times when we need to know where to 'draw the line'. When we are clear about what's good for us we can more comfortably say 'Yes' to choices that fit and 'No' to those that don't. And with practice, courage and respect we can improve our boundaries and live more fully and more authentically.

In the best selling book Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend you can learn more about what boundaries are, how they impact your life and what you can do to develop healthier boundaries. (contains a few biblical analogies but don't let that put you off)

In the meantime, here are a few ideas worth exploring. Start by making one or two small changes, notice the results and build on your success.

1 Sense of Self – begin to get a clearer idea of who you are and what’s ok for you

2 Values – clarify what matters most to you, make choices and decisions that fit with your values

3 Reframe – reframe the meaning of ‘selfish’ to ‘self respect’

4 Emotions – listen to your body and your emotions. Feelings of discomfort may indicate that someone
has ‘crossed the line’ and intruded on your boundaries

5 Language – notice your language and inner dialogue. Practice removing ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’ and ‘have to’s’

6 Practice
> setting limits with others
> expressing your needs and wants
> saying Yes and No appropriately and assertively
> taking less responsibility for others and more responsibility for yourself
> not absorbing other people's negative emotions
> accepting help from others
> pleasing yourself without feeling guilty

7 Treat yourself, and others, the way you would like to be treated

And remember “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” Buddha