Inside Story

I've been hearing recently about storytelling and in particular how telling stories can be a really helpful way of marketing. And certainly there have been a number of successful advertising campaigns recently telling either the Marks and Spencer story, the Sainsbury's story or the Virgin Atlantic story, all of which were tales of a long and successful heritage.

Yet when it comes to our personal lives, how many of us have been living with old stories that have not been serving us? What have you been telling yourself that is holding you back, stopping you from using your natural skills and talents and preventing you from being ALL that you truly are? Is it the story of "I'm not good enough", "I don't deserve it", "I'll look stupid", "I can't do that" or "I'm not attractive or intelligent enough?"

There really seems to be no limit to our creativity when it comes to devising unhelpful stories to live by. And when you're telling yourself those types of story, what is it that you're not saying? Could it be "I'm already enough", "I have lots of skills and talents", "I have many wonderful qualities", "I'm gorgeous" or "I can be happy now"?

So how do you go about recognising the unhelpful stories? How would you be different without them? And what can you do to change them?

Tips for recognising your stories

With so many thoughts running through our minds every day it's not always easy to keep track of them, let alone change them. What you can do, however, is pay more attention to your feelings. These are a pretty good indicator of whether you're telling yourself helpful or unhelpful stories. If you're feeling bad the likelihood is you're telling yourself something unhelpful and if you're feeling good then the opposite is probably true. Next time you find yourself experiencing undesirable emotions consider the following;

1 Feeling anxious or worried. Stop. What were you telling yourself about the future?

2 Feeling sad or guilty. Stop. What were you telling yourself about the past?

3 Feeling angry or frustrated. Stop. What were you telling yourself about other people?

4 Feeling down or depressed. Stop. What were you telling yourself about you or how you compare?

Change the Story

Changing the story can take practice, and as with many things, the more we practice, the easier it becomes. One technique that can help is to simply create a different story. How do I do that you might ask? Well given that you already have the ability to create stories, how about creating an alternative narrative by starting with the question "What else could be true?" or "How would someone else think about this?" Remember, your thoughts are only ever interpretations of reality. There are other ways of thinking and you can choose to think differently. Be willing to experiment, create a new story that not only fits for you but serves you better and changes how you feel.

It will change how you are being in the world.

And remember, "The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question" Stephen Jay Gould

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